Forever Hold Your Peace
by jessbsrq
Summary: Quinn's P.O.V - how do you stop a wedding that was never meant to be in the first place?
1. Chapter 1

**Note: so hi I really wanted to do something for the wedding fiasco, it's extremely short and vague but thoughts and feelings would be nice, thank you! :)**

**Also anyone waiting for an update for my other story I promise I'm working on Where Did You Go? as we speak please feel free to hit me in the face because I am the worst at updating in the whole world.**

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><p>There are some things in life you can't control, like the crappy weather for example, and others you can completely. How many times have I smiled today? How often have I thought of the past? How many risks have I taken?<p>

Twice. Once. None.

Control is a funny thing. You think you have a handle on a situation, when really everything is slowly slipping away. Once you lose that hold, you never really get it back, no matter what you do - it's all too late. It isn't the lack of control that's scary though, it's the fact that you had a chance to do something and you let it pass you by.

Okay I lied, maybe I've thought about the past more than once today. 'What if's are are a stupid waste of time, irrational and ridiculous - but that didn't stop them from infiltrating my every thought.

What if this wasn't Ohio?

What if I had been kind instead?

What if I had realized sooner?

What if I had acted on my feelings instead of suppressing them?

What if I had said something when it mattered?

What if I wasn't too scared?

What if he had never proposed?

What if it was me instead?

What if.

I guess maybe things might have been different, or not. Either way I can't influence her decision any more than I can change each and every one of my bad ones. It's life and it sucks sometimes, well, most of the time actually.

Control is a funny thing.

Maybe it's time to take that risk.

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><p><strong>Thoughts?<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: okay so I'm not to sure what to do about this because I started it before On My Way... Anyway we'll see**

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><p>"Don't even think about it Fabray."<p>

Santana's voice cut through the silence. I turned to face her with what I hoped was an innocent look on my face,

"Seriously, you can't do this to her. Not now. She's clearly made her decision."

despite myself I had to smile, how in the world she knew what I was thinking was beyond me. I could pretend all I wanted with other people, and I did, a lot. But she and Brittany always knew when something was on my mind, but this was one of those times that I really, really didn't want to talk about it. Santana being Santana didn't know when to leave well enough alone. She made sure Brittany was still napping and placed a light peck on her forehead, leaving her on my bed as she walked towards where I was sitting in the corner of my bedroom.

"Please San, just leave it."

I looked up at her, trying to convey the fact that nothing she said was going to make a difference. I'd made my mind up - I was going to tell Rachel how I felt, today. She regarded my expression carefully, her eyes dancing across my face - her brow furrowed in the way it only does when she's deep in thought.

"Look Quinn, if you want me to leave this alone then fine, whatever. It's your call. But I'm just gonna say one thing, she chose him, she's marrying him, as much as she annoys the crap out of me I wouldn't want anything to spoil what's meant to be the happiest day of her life; how about you?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but it had suddenly gone bone dry. Wasn't she completely and utterly right? She'd chosen, and it wasn't me. The optimist in me was fighting back, Rachel didn't know how I felt, not properly anyway - I'd never told her that I loved her, if she knew would her choice be the same? Even with that voice screaming at me, I found myself doubting my reasoning. If Santana didn't want to see anything ruin Rachel's wedding day, surely I shouldn't? Surely I shouldn't want to do that to someone that I cared so much about. Not just that, but my old fears began to rise to the surface, what if I'd made everything up in my head? Exaggerated everything? I looked back at my best friend and I could feel tears welling up,

"Hey, none of that Fabray, you'll wake Britt up.."

She enveloped me in a strong embrace and whispered to me as I let the tears slide silently down my cheeks,

"Quinn you want her to be happy right? Well that's what I want for you, if this is what you need to do then do it okay, I'm not going to stop you..."

I shook my head, not quite sure why. I'd been so sure of myself. So damn sure that just admitting to Rachel how I felt was enough. Enough to stop this stupid wedding. Enough to make us both happy. Now? I wasn't so sure.

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><p><strong>The chapters are short I know, they'll be getting longer as the story progresses. Hopefully. <strong>


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